The Garfield Rap (episode)/Transcript
(descending instrumental music playing) (T.V. clicks on) on T.V. ' There on the sand You gave me your hand And told me you loved me the most Then without pause, You showed me your claws, I ain't gonna be your scratching post. '''Announcer on T.V.: '''You are watching Meow TV. The only cable TV channel featuring music videos for cats. '''Kenny: '''Hey, You're back with your main Manx, Kitty Katnip as we continue counting down the top videos of the week. You just saw number two, "Aint Gonna Be Your Scratching Post," by Tina and the Tabbys. Next up, the hit off the new CD by Garfield is number one this week. A little rap thing he calls, "The Garfield Rap." ''(scratching on record) (upbeat instrumental rocking rap music) : '''Garfield : Meow : One day I was asleep : I heard a puppy yapping : Can't stand dogs : Who interrupt my napping : So I went to have a chat with Odie : Told the puppy dog he ought to hit the road : He said, "No way" : Tried to contradict me : That was when the little puppy licked me : Oh, how I want to kick and clobber : When I get covered with doggy slobber : But I was polite as I was able : And I kicked the doggy off the table : Landed on the floor, right in a heap : Next time, he won't interrupt my sleep : The guy I lived with got real sore : I said, "Hey, what are puppies for?" : Singers : That's called being a cat : : Garfield : (Lie around, get fat) : : Singers : That's what it takes to be a cat : : Garfield : (Meow) : : Singers : That's called being a cat : : Garfield : (Lie around, get fat) : : Singers : You'll be sitting pretty, kitty-cat : (upbeat instrumental rocking rap music continues) : Garfield : Just last night : I was having a snack : And this guy comes in : With a sackful of food : He said it was really great : Made for cats who are a little overweight : Well, he persisted with his plan : So I scoped the label out on the can : Beef by-products is how they try : To sell parts of the cow they can't identify : But he said it was good for my waist : And he forced me to take a little taste : I thought the stuff that he brought home : Tasted like ground up Styrofoam : He gave me a bowl, : But I couldn't complete it : I said "Hey, if it's so good, : Why don't you eat it?" : Singers : That's called being a cat : : Garfield : (Lie around, get fat) : : Singers : That's what it takes to be a cat : : Garfield : (Meow) : : Singers : That's called being a cat : : Garfield : (Lie around, get fat) : : Singers : You'll be sitting pretty, kitty-cat : (upbeat instrumental rocking rap music continues) : Garfield : Late at night I go out on the fence : Down the street from my residence : I bring my horn and I play a little jam : Starting at three, maybe four a.m. : People in the building : Right across the way : Get a special kind of treat : When I start their day : Is there any better one : To start off all their morns : Than the coolest cat : With the hottest of horns? : I play some jazz, and I play some blues : And they offer tips in the form of shoes : Come the morning, : And they walk out on the street : Lots of folks in their little stocking feet : But I am pleased to make them all a deal : Pays for a heck of a breakfast meal : Singers : That's called being a cat : : Garfield : (Lie around, get fat) : : Singers : That's what it takes to be a cat : : Garfield : (Meow) : : Singers : That's called being a cat : : Garfield : (Lie around, get fat) : : Singers : You'll be sitting pretty, kitty-cat : (upbeat instrumental rocking rap music continues) : Garfield : When I'm in the park, : People always want to pat : The furry head of a kitty cat : How many times have I heard it said : "Oh, he's cute" as they rub my head? : It was fun long ago : But the fun's been fading : I used to find the thing quite degrading : Till I came up with a solution : All I needed was : A little financial restitution : People pet me now and all is fine : Till I show them the price list on my sign : Pet the kitty on the head and neck : I accept credit cards, cash, or check : And next week our special rate begins : For folks who want to scratch me : Under my chins : Singers : That's called being a cat : : Garfield : (Lie around, get fat) : : Singers : That's what it takes to be a cat : : Garfield : (Meow) : : Singers : That's called being a cat : : Garfield : (Lie around, get fat) : : Singers : You'll be sitting pretty, kitty-cat : (upbeat instrumental rocking rap music continues) : Garfield : When I'm around : The women make a beeline : When they catch sight of this classy feline : Saturday night I pick up my date : That's the time we must celebrate : Some guys are trouble, some guys are fun : I'm Michael Jackson all rolled into one : She has more fun than she's ever known : Still, she'll yearn for that moment alone : That's the moment that goes to the heart : Then I smell something and quickly depart : What's so important : I'll leave her with ease? : Homemade lasagna with plenty of cheese : This is the end of The Garfield Rap : Now pass me a pillow, it's time for my nap : : Singers : That's called being a cat : That's what it takes to be a cat : That's called being a cat : You'll be sitting pretty, kitty-cat : (upbeat instrumental rocking rap music continues) : : Singers : That's called being a cat : That's what it takes to be a cat : That's called being a cat : You'll be sitting pretty, kitty-cat : : (upbeat instrumental rocking rap music continues to fade out) : (episode ends) Category:Transcript Category:Garfield and Friends Category:Garfield and Friends episodes, Season 5